we still manage to shake each other inside, yet we are, our bodies are, different.. we infect each other with inspirations, we only have a couple seconds of full touch. i am afraid we are gonna start making out if we stay in the room longer. thats what makes me nervous. i dont know what to do with it if my body follows her desires. thats why i am quite.. beside all the other things going on. you know like moving.. to another life in another land. a song says its hard to be in love with a gypsy. off, being a gypsy is no easy joke either. being the only gypsy in the family. being still in the fall wind. gliding through the stillness. it is like a joke. it ain't easy to wake up alone with an open gypsy heart. in the middle of a cozy autumn night.

fall intheBay

like the leaf falling down.. the quietness after a catharsis.. catharsis of silent tears, big smiles, and emotional explosions. this is not a good-bye.. goodbye for now. how can i mourn in the middle of a festie? when i lost myself in the fire? in the peaks of hugs and cuddles? while i am feeling every beat in my body? the night turned into 4 in the morning.. the fall came the day after, instead of the summer sun.. in one day.. so many things can change, with the rhythm of nature, with the dance of the moon every night. hiding and opening again.. this new moon is gonna open to the fall.. fall of landing.. the leaves are gonna fall on the earth on the other side of the world.. first on the other coast.. oh the infamous autumn in NY. don't bring me down. from NYtoIstanbul, what to expect? dry leaves on the mama earth.. the same mama earth on every inch of the world. wherever i go, it is my prayer to bring the beauty in me, wherever i go it is my prayer to find the beautiful. in joy, in dark, in dry, in wet. the beauty in the melancholy of the dry orange leaves, and purple morning glories. oh the beauty of the autumn rain, you dont shake my booty like the summer sunshine, but you sure take my soul to the other places. in the places of grief, and the spaces of coziness.. i still feel the tickle in my ear.. from far.. and sometimes in the same room but shy.. oh my gypsy soul witnessing the seasons of transformation, shredding the skin in different continents.. south, north, west to east, i fly.. like a leaf falling down from a tree, and landing in another world. keeping the memories, letting go the unnecessary.. in the land of home. away from home.. i pray to create home wherever i go. and fill it with beautiful men, beautiful women, animals. and find beauty-full ways to express. in the land of love. real love for real. find me wherever i go. goodbye for now.

you make me wanna smoke first thing in the morning. you make my heart feel empty, and i try to fill it with coffee and smoke.. the snychronicities between us.. you are unable to see. after months of not seeing you, moving to another city from the same neighborhood, after burying your necklace in MachuPicchu and burning your name in the temple, i ran into u in the middle of nowhere before the full moon, exactly a year after i ran into u, and you shake everything inside of me again.. and again.. i am in the same desperate place for a little bit.. i know my heart cannot afford to stay there for a longer time.. i know i take care of my heart now, much better than last year.. so i leave.. with a bitter taste in my heart. i have been to the dark places of loving you and i know i don't wanna lost myself again in those lonely places. i know you don't want to meet me there. we will never know probably, how it would be to meet at the heart of fearless love. i had a taste of most delicious pain. i know this time i am not gonna follow the signs that are gonna take me to the dead end. been there. be blessed. good bye.